Blog Home: Home

2009-06-04

Piece of evidence #43768487 on how much tail Derek Jeter gets

SEATTLE, Washington - Derek Jeter's prolific dating life has kept the gossip columns and blogs abuzz for fifteen years (including vicious, unsubstantiated rumors, that I repeat here purely for informational purposes, that he has given herpes to the likes of Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Biel).

He's so prolific, when confronted with rumors that he had gotten engaged, he couldn't even figure out which woman they could be theorizing he got engaged to:

We caught up with the Yankee shortstop before his team bested the Texas Rangers on Tuesday and asked about the rumors he's set to wed "Friday Night Lights" actress Minka Kelly, with whom he was reportedly caught ring-shopping earlier this year.

"The what?" Jeter asked incredulously. "Engagement rumors with who? I have not heard that."
That's "rumors with whom", Derek, but maybe you were mis-quoted.

If you've observed Jeter for years, you know he's not the sharpest sword on the rack. Hey, that doesn't make him bad or unique. Why do I follow sports? I lost interest in the scores some time ago; now I pay attention simply because it's a bunch of guys with huge egos, vicious competitive streaks, tons of money, and usually not much as far as brains or judgment. Hilarity ensues.

0 comments: