Mike Holmgren sounds like Don Lucchesi

SEATTLE, Washington -

Mike Holmgren, discussing the future of Eric Mangini:

When egos get in the way, it destroys the team. My goal is to have everyone thinking in a like manner, going in the same direction. Let's put the egos aside.

Don Lucchesi, in The Godfather Part III:

Yes -- you will take control. We’ll gladly put you at the helm of our little fleet. But our ships, must all sail in the same direction. Otherwise, who can say how long, your stay with us will last? It’s not personal, it’s only business.

Look out, Mr Mangini - we all know how things turned out in The Godfather Part III. Don't we?

Black women not making headway with Tiger Woods (or anyone else)

Can't a sister get a break?

SEATTLE, Washington - It was only a matter of time before a commentator would note a certain similarity in the physical appearance of all the women popping up in the Tiger Woods conquest gallery. Eugene Robinson:

Here's my real question, though: What's with the whole Barbie thing?

No offense to anyone who actually looks like Barbie, but it really is striking how much the women who've been linked to Woods resemble one another. I'm talking about the long hair, the specific body type, even the facial features. Mattel could sue for trademark infringement.
..
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But the world is full of beautiful women of all colors, shapes and sizes -- some with short hair or almond eyes, some with broad noses, some with yellow or brown skin. Woods appears to have bought into an "official" standard of beauty that is so conventional as to be almost oppressive.

Mr Robinson dances around a bit, but we know what your main concern is, sir - none of the women are black.

This reminded me of a comment about Tiger's preference in women that was made back in April of 2002, during the winning call of The Jim Rome Show's Smack-Off for that year. This was after Tiger had bagged Elin but before they were married, and the caller, Jeff in Richmond, made some comments about the relationship and then said "by the way, Tiger... can't a sister get a break?" (clip here)

Let us not single out Tiger for dodging black women - in fact, they're being dodged by American men of all races, at least if this analysis by okcupid.com is representative of the population as a whole. The two matrices below show write-back rates broken down by race; one is for female senders, and the other is for male senders. These are not across the entire population of responses, but only the responses where the sender and the recipient were considered a "match" by okcupid's match algorithm.



I circled the two lines of interest, but I didn't have to as they stick out just by their color-coding - black women are more likely to have their response to an ad ignored, and more likely to write back to someone who initiates contact.

Sounds like, no, a sister can't get a break.

chick gallery from Celebslam

Science validates old Beavis and Butt-head observation about women

Astute observers of female nature

SEATTLE, Washington -

From an old Beavis and Butt-head episode:

Butt-head: Whoa! This song's about like, some chick doing it with like, some other chick's boyfriend.

Beavis: Yeah! That's pretty harsh.

Butt-head: Yeah. So like, this chick will only do yo if you like, already have a girlfriend...?

Beavis: Yeah, yeah! A lot of chicks are like that. They don't wanna go out with you unless you already have a girlfriend...but like, you can't get a girlfriend because you don't have a girlfriend...so it's like...struss-frating.

Science chimes in:

Men and women in the study were asked to describe their ideal romantic partner and were told they would be computer-matched with a like-minded student. Researchers told half of the participants that the person with whom they were matched was single. They told the other participants that their “match” was currently in a romantic relationship. Participants then answered a series of questions on how interested they would be in pursuing a relationship with their match.

Surprisingly [not so surprisingly - jeff], single women were much more interested in pursuing a relationship with a committed man than with a single man.

Specifically, when researchers described the man as single, 59 percent of single women were interested in pursuing him. However, when they described the exact same man as being in a committed relationship, 90 percent of the women were interested.

Men did not show this preference, and neither did women who were already in a relationship.

Research found at Overcoming Bias. B&B transcript from WikiQuote

Time for the Henry Miller tax avoidance strategy

SEATTLE, Washington - Henry Miller didn't know how to manage the piles of money he started making when his juiciest works were finally published in the United States in the early 1960s. He had been poor most of his life, sometimes getting by by sending out letters to friends, begging for food, clothes, whatever.

In 1963 he had high tax bills and a less-than-optimal liquidity situation and sought advice; some of his accountants mentioned that he could get tax write-offs by donating his watercolors to museums and universities. Upon hearing this, Miller (73 years old at the time) tossed aside any notions of making a painting when inspiration struck, and cranked out scores of watercolors which were promptly donated off.

Massive tax write-off

I wish I had known this a few weeks ago, when I donated an old television to a nonprofit. I didn't even bother with donation paperwork for giving away that old dinosaur, but perhaps I could have thrown in one of my paintings, like the one pictured here.

"Yes, I'd also like to donate this painting to your organization. It's worth ten thousand dollars. Yes, yes, I'll need a receipt."

(Alleged) West Seattle pimps took notes from American Pimp

SEATTLE, Washington - From the 1999 Hughes Brothers documentary American Pimp, pimps in response to the question of what "cut" their prostitutes get:

Schauntte: "What cut they get? Oh no. They ain't get no cut."
Charm: "No percentage."
Bishop Don Magic Juan: "Zero Percentage."
Payroll: "Zero."
Kenny Red: "A bitch of mine better not keep a dime."
Fillmore Slim: "None. None."
Danny Brown: "If one of my women had proven to be stronger than me, a better manager than me, then she could have been the leader. But I was the master of the house, I was the leader of the program, so all the money came to me. It wasn't like I had part of the money, she had part of the money - that's like, a divided situation."

And now in an trial that opened yesterday of an alleged West Seattle pimp:

Clark is accused of pimping out three women, including two girls, through a prostitution ring run by a West Seattle gang, the West Side Street Mobb.

That, [Prosecutor Sean]O'Donnell told jurors, is Mobb with two Bs.

"Mobb is spelled M-O-B-B, and it stands for Money Over Broke Bitches," O'Donnell said. "And you will find that money is a recurring theme in this case. …

"You will find that this gang has an almost singular purpose. Money, money, money."

The big question facing Jets QB Mark Sanchez

SEATTLE, Washington - Mark Sanchez is in camp with the New York Jets. He has some questions swirling around him - can he handle the media pressure in New York? Will he be the opening-day starter as a rookie? Can he focus on football with all the distractions that his high profile will bring? But most importantly, will he ever be called on the carpet over the photo with the white jeans?

Sanchez did a photo shoot with GQ in May, and most of it is what we'd expect - Sanchez posing with a hot chick in a bikini, etc.

But this one shot... white jeans? White jeans? And a tight shirt that barely reaches his navel with colored horizontal stripes? He looks like a character in Querelle. This can't possibly help his standing in the locker room.

Lindsay Lohan's dad attempts hot Tiffani-Amber Thiessen pose

SEATTLE, Washington - A sheer top doesn't work for everyone. It definitely worked for Tiffani-Amber Thiessen back in the day. I thought the pic of her below was just about the hottest pic on the young mid-1990s internet. It has an understated sexiness to it. The clothing is perfect. The hair, perfect.

Now we have Michael Lohan, in what looks like a man-version of the same clothing? Why the hell are there pictures of him on the internet at all? Never mind one where he looks like he's trying to imitate one of the great photos of the 1990s.



I spotted Mr Lohan at Just Jared

Astronaut and ape, forever linked, at least in the movies

SEATTLE, Washington - Looks like a small model kit is available (or was available a few years ago) that is a conceptual cousin of one of my 2001: A Space Odyssey paintings.

A modeling fanatic went into detail on all the various flaws and difficulties of the kit. I'm not one of those model kit guys.

At least the kit does not have any features that unsophisticated observers will keep mistaking for a penis.

Summer Glau may be the Russell Branyan of science fiction

Warning: mixing of sports and science fiction ahead

NEW YORK, New York - I've finished watching Firefly and it's clearly another instance of Summer Glau not being given the chance to show her full potential. She spent most of her time prowling around the ship in her muumuu, having the occasional breakdown or uttering a cryptic comment or two. She did not have a prominent role until the final episode.

She had a beefier role in Terminator, but still was not the featured player.

And now, she's going to play second or third fiddle to Eliza Dushku on Dollhouse. Eliza Dushku!

I've questioned Glau's potential before, but after seeing a lot of her work I think she can handle something big. She's just not being given the chance.

Things like this happen in sports. Look at Russell Branyan. For years, he's only been given a chance to be a part-time player: he strikes out too much, he can't field, he can't stay healthy, he can't hit left-handed pitchers, etc.

Now Branyan has been given a chance to be a full-timer in Seattle this year, and he's having a big season. His hitting against left-handed pitchers is not great but is adequate, and he's doing everything else asked of him.

Someone needs to do this with Summer Glau. It's a shame I'm not a television producer, because I'd do it. I'd throw her into the fire, work her hard. To quote from The Mack, I'd work that broad like nobody's ever worked her before. See if she can handle it. I think I'd have a star on my hands.

Jackson postmortem starting to look like a Howard Hughes re-run

SEATTLE, Washington - I'm well versed on the details of the life and legacy of Howard Hughes, and I know a re-run when I see one. The whole Michael Jackson situation is starting to sound familiar. The large entourage who depended on Jackson for their daily bread, the drug talk, the personal physicians lawyering up immediately after the death - it's all cut from the same cloth as the aftermath of Hughes's death in 1976.

Yet another parallel has popped up - looks like we're now in for a battle over which will, if any, is the legitimate last executed will of Michael Jackson. Michael's father Joe is allegedly not mentioned in the alleged most recent (2002) will, so of course he's now allegedly saying that that will is not valid.

The Hughes will situation became a total circus (with dozens of fakes and alleged wills popping up) that eventually resulted in an award-winning film but never resulted in finding a binding legal will.

Did N.W.A. lift lyrics from Vladimir Nabokov?

SEATTLE, Washington -

From Nabokov's Bend Sinister, 1947:

She sat with parted lips, slightly moving her tightly crossed thighs, producing a tiny sound, soft, labiate, with an alternate crepitation as if she were rubbing the palms of her hands which, however, lay idle.

'Chirruping like a poor lone cricket,' she said.

Portion of "Parental Discretion Iz Advised", from N.W.A's Straight Outta Compton, 1988:

Fuck the regular, yo as I get better the
bitches wanna trick and go stupid up on the dick
So I get 'em hot, thinkin' they're gonna get it
As they sit, rubbin' their legs like a cricket

This painting was not done by me, it was done through me

SEATTLE, Washington - After I finished reading Gravity's Rainbow, I decided to paint one of the opening scenes. (I considered doing this for every book I read but realized, as I like to buy books cheap, that this might quadruple the cost of every book I read.) After completing it, I started running into a bunch of stuff that reminded me of the painting. This is the painting:



After completing it, I ran into this cover image of one of the editions (it's not the edition I read, nor is it the image on my Goodreads entry for the book):



I also noticed after the fact that my painting bears a resemblance to this photo of Atlanta that I have on the wall of my home office. (The painting is an image of London):



Finally we have the image below from Zak Smith, an artist who created one image for each page of Gravity's Rainbow. Like me, Smith included a smokestack and the rocket with vapor trails. I put a hat on Prentice because I was dissatisfied with how I had painted his head.

Mr Smith saved the bananas until the next page's image.

I recommend viewing all the Smith images if you've read the book, and maybe even if you haven't read the book.

Life imitates The Godfather, as usual

SEATTLE, Washington -
Life:

Mohegan Sun officials said the casino's net income in the third quarter dropped 89 percent compared with the same period last year, and they're placing some of the blame on gamblers' extraordinary luck.

The Mohegan Tribal Gaming Authority reported net income of $5 million Thursday for the three months ending June 30.

Mitchell Etess, Mohegan Sun's president and chief executive officer, said the casino had an extremely long streak of bad luck.

The Godfather:

Michael: The Corleone Family wants to buy you out.

Moe Greene: The Corleone Family wants to buy me out? No, I buy you out, you don't buy me out .

Michael: Your casino loses money. Maybe we can do better.

Moe Greene: You think I'm skimmin' off the top, Mike?

Michael: You're unlucky.

An odd homage to Burroughs

SEATTLE, Washington - Due to the chaotic mess that was the writing and book-preparation style of William S. Burroughs, passages of text would appear in multiple works, and sometimes multiple times in the same work (some passages in Naked Lunch appear twice). Burroughs biographer Barry Miles seems to have pulled a similar stunt, though I'm not sure if it's mistake or tribute.

Here's one example. From Burroughs: El Hombre Invisible:

Stern had a friend called Harry Phipps, a 24-year-old, short, blond-haired, baby-faced, narcissistic American millionaire.

From Miles's The Beat Hotel:

Stern had a friend named Harry Phipps, a twenty-four-year-old, short, blond-haired, baby-faced, narcissistic American millionaire,...

Those look like the type of minor text changes that a student makes when trying to make it look like they didn't plagiarize something.

I saw some more examples but the former book is poorly indexed and the latter is not indexed at all so I'm not going to hunt for them.

Now that Fidel is stepping aside

SEATTLE, Washington - Time to get some real leadership in Cuba - the kind that will again turn Cuba into a tropical gambling mecca. The kind of Cuba that Hyman Roth talked about in The Godfather Part II:

These are wonderful things that we've achieved in Havana -- and there's no limit to where we can go from here. This kind of Government knows how to help business...to encourage it -- the hotels here are bigger and swankier than any of the rug joints we've put in Vegas -- and we can thank our friends in the Cuban government -- which has put up half of the cash with the Teamsters on a dollar for dollar basis -- has relaxed restrictions on imports. What I am saying now is we have what we have always needed -- real partnership with the government.

Transcript from here

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga and Clint Holmes - separated at birth?

SEATTLE, Washington - The Australian Open tennis tournament has just ended, and the AP story describing the men's final refers to runner-up Jo-Wilfried Tsonga as a "Muhammad Ali lookalike" and notes that "a portrait of Ali, a racket sketched in one hand, was taped to the stadium wall."

Whoever put up that sign has probably never been to Las Vegas, because then they'd know that Mr Tsonga bears a much stronger resemblance to Vegas entertainment legend Clint Holmes.

Mr Tsonga is a 22-year-old Frenchman, so... did Holmes tour in France 23 years ago?

Imitation (butter) is the sincerest form of flattery

MAYS LANDING, New Jersey - It was not two weeks ago that I mentioned I Can't Believe It's Not Butter while noting the Fabio/Clooney dust-up.

Just in time, the Serious Eats blog hunted around and posted some examples from the universe of imitators of this august product, including Butter It's Not! and What, not butter!

Found via Boing Boing