I am the éminence grise of American businesses large and small

Still operational

SEATTLE, Washington - Back in 2008 I steered Trophy Cupcakes regarding their schedule for offering their Peanut Butter & Jelly cupcake.

Nice, but Seattle cupcake shops are small potatoes, so I shot for a bigger target, lobbying to get Summer Glau a featured role in movies or television.

From my lips to God's Jeff Zucker's ears, the advice has been heard and heeded. Ms Glau has been awarded the female lead role in the upcoming NBC series The Cape. It's just a deal to make a pilot right now but clearly this show is destined for the fall slate.

Soon, Maureen Dowd will have to issue a retraction for saying that Zucker "could not program [a] network to save his life." (But she doesn't have to take back calling him a "condescending and arrogant East Coaster").

A more succinct criticism of the mental health industries

SEATTLE, Washington - If you want to verse yourself on the core problems of the mental health industries, you can study the recent feature in The New Yorker or you can just catch this snippet of dialogue between bartender Dean and his pal Joel in the 2009 Mike Judge film Extract:

Dean: You need to take some Xanax.

Joel: Xanax? Isn't that for anxiety?

Dean: It's good for all psychological problems in the DSM-IV.

SPS 2010 College Hoops Bracket

SEATTLE, Washington -

Midwest

Round 1 Winners:
1 Kansas
8 UNLV
5 Michigan St.
4 Maryland
6 Tennessee
3 Georgetown
7 Oklahoma St.
2 Ohio St.

Round 2:
1 Kansas
5 Michigan St.
6 Tennessee
2 Ohio St.

Sweet 16:
1 Kansas
6 Tennessee

West

Round 1:
1 Syracuse
9 Florida St.
5 Butler
4 Vanderbilt
6 Xavier
3 Pittsburgh
7 BYU
2 Kansas St.

Round 2:
1 Syracuse
5 Butler
3 Pittsburgh
2 Kansas St.

Sweet 16:
1 Syracuse
2 Kansas St.

East

Round 1:
1 Kentucky
8 Texas
12 Cornell
4 Wisconsin
6 Marquette
3 New Mexico
10 Missouri
2 West Virginia

Round 2:
1 Kentucky
4 Wisconsin
6 Marquette
2 West Virginia

Sweet 16:
1 Kentucky
2 West Virginia

South

Round 1:
1 Duke
9 Louisville
5 Texas A&M
13 Siena
6 Notre Dame
3 Baylor
7 Richmond
2 Villanova

Round 2:
1 Duke
5 Texas A&M
3 Baylor
2 Villanova

Sweet 16:
5 Texas A&M
3 Baylor

Final Four

Kansas over West Virginia
Syracuse over Baylor

Kansas over Syracuse


Pellets or Death

WASHINGTON, DC - Years ago, Mike Ditka was pimping a product called Rust Tough, and compared it to competitor Rust-Oleum by saying "do you want TOUGH, or do you want oooohhhleum?

So it is with these anti-snail products. Do you want pellets, or do you want death?

(I'm assuming here that the Snail Pellets are in fact used to kill snails, but I see no indicator on the package that this is so.)




codicil: do snails have a face?

The disappearing exit ramp diet

SEATTLE, Washington - One of my consistent diet foes has been the SoDo Burger King. It's location is perfect for trapping me right after hitting golf balls at Jefferson. I get done hitting balls around 9-9:30pm, I probably ate dinner before 5pm so I'm feeling a bit hungry, and there's no BK in West Seattle so it has a bit of novelty about it. Just roll right off the ramp to 4th Ave S and right into the drive-thru - so easy, they'd have to remove the damn ramp to stop me.

And that's exactly what happened - the ramp is gone. Not barricaded, gone. Not easy to get in and out of there anymore with all the construction. Until BK brings back the Italian Chicken Sandwich it's not worth figuring out an alternate route.