ATLANTIC CITY, New Jersey - As we all know from real life, women don't pursue men or have sex with men just for the sake of enjoyment. There's always an ancillary agenda.
This is true even at the Olympics. When the competitors are done sporting and get down to the business of using the 100,000 condoms that are distributed to the athletes, the men simply try to find a good-looking woman to have sex with (ignoring how a given sex partner did in the games), but the women fight it out to bag gold-medal winning guys:
The chaps who win gold medals - even those as geeky as Michael Phelps - are the principal objects of desire for many female athletes. There is something about sporting success that makes a certain type of woman go crazy - smiling, flirting and sometimes even grabbing at the chaps who have done the business in the pool or on the track. An Olympic gold medal is not merely a route to fame and fortune; it is also a surefire ticket to writhe.
But - and this is the thing - success does not work both ways. Gold-medal winning female athletes are not looked upon by male with any more desire than those who flunked out in the first round.
And they do this at the Olympics for the same reason they do it in the rest of life - to brag to their friends about the guy they managed to bag. There has to be a secondary reason - to brag to friends, to steal sperm, whatever.
If a woman really wants to set a world record, she should simply have sex for its own sake, even just once. She'd probably be the first woman ever to do so. I'd vote to have her put on a box of Wheaties.